everyone is single if you try hard enough
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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