Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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