I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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