im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Acid is not a monday night drug
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
