Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
