haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize