My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just had sex on a roof
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
