I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
