i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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