note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
