My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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