used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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