i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
