Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
