Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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