Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize