who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He has the fingertips of a God
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
