she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
