So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
