So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
