They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
