Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
