and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
