I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
