it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
