Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
