New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
