i may or may not be watching the land before time
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
