The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
