Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
