"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
