Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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