I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Its about making memories worth repressing
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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