i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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