I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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