Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
