90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Too much gin, very little bucket
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
