the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
