I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
