"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
