dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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