dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
