Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
