I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
