I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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