I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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