Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
