Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
