Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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