just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
