whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
